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| with all the hype about censorship on blogs, it's a real blessing that im so self centred that i blog only about myself! hehe
well, it's tuesday... today my weekend starts...
i've been stressing quite badly over my OSCEs, it was at the end of a 6 week surgical rotation and while last term we had a long case, for me, osces are waaaaay worse. im not a showperson, i can't feign confidence in something i dont know. put me on a stage like a school's perhimpunan or such, and it wont be a problem, im not required to know stuff, thats why it's so bad. the long case allows me to go over it many many times, and even pose questions like "eh bang, liver abang besar tak? doktor kata abang kuning tak?' with a huge smile on my face! hehe but a lot of good that did last time.
back to my point... OSCEs allow us 5 mins to make an impression of knowing our stuff, to pick out sign(s). no matter how much u can read about how to measure the liver span, or how to approach a patient, it wont help. the scary vascular station had mr kevin who impressed a lot upon me, and it's like being part of his gang, having a eurasian mother. thankfully, his was our last ward teaching and that made his much talked about station so do-able! the end was so rewarding!
so i thought i could rest easy, after stressing out all the pimples on my face... alas it was not to be. i've been having very severe abdominal distension postprandial, it lasts for about an hour and it hurts so badly, i can only lie prone. or supine. it makes it hard to me to eat anything other than yoghurt or fruits. even then it still distends. and hey, that diet hasnt made me lose weight. to the contrary actually. hehe but it worried my mother to the point of nagging me almost every hour and she succeeded in getting ME worried. so there went my weekend.
on the way back to penang, my bus broke down and we were left stranded for 3 hrs!
then yesterday i approached another surgeon whom i really admire, mr tan in the endoscopic room and he decided to scope me immediately.so i was left to be processed, but no one seemed to know what to do, so i sat around doing nothing for an hour. then when i finally plucked up the courage and pasted on an extra layer of extra thick skin, i get my history taken and consent form. mr prem whom i've always been very openly frightened of came and insisted on scoping me himself, immediately. and he was pleasantly surprisingly kind. so kind, it was the kind of treatment i expected in a private hospital. he actually went "all right sarah, dont worry, you're doing fine girl..." mr tan came over to see what was wrong. and i've been diagnosed with oesophagitis and gastritis. hehe he warned me off coffee (i dont even drink coffee!), drugs (yeah right!), alcohol... hehe perhaps the fact that i have gastritis gives them the illusion that im properly stressed out the way a medical student ought to be. when in reality i think it's the chili padi i like to eat with whatever i cook, the super spicy thai food... i dont think i deserve to be afforded 'stress induced gastritis'. hehe but im on medication, and mr prem said it shud resolve in no less than 8 weeks.
im just hoping for a normal stomach by christmas!
i've counted down to christmas already. planning what gifts to get those dearest to me...
well, as i was saying, now that my OSCEs and my distension are settled, im finally breathing a sigh of relief... thank God He brought me through it all with more strength than i ever deemed myself capable of! | | |
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The expression has been circulating for ages, and it’s cropped up pretty frequently especially the countless times I’ve missed home when I was in Dublin…
One would think being in penang would, if not cure, at least half the longing to be home. After all I get to go back forthnightly, if not, every three weeks. That’s way better than making it home once a year.
But maybe it’s because I’ve completed my overseas stint that I bounded myself to when I signed away 17 years of my life (2 yrs A levels + 5 yrs med school + 10 years government service). Now that im in penang, I thought I’d be even closer to home. I used to cry every time I left home, at the airport, but one could explain it away and say airports are highly strung places, or they release tear gas or whatever, but now, there are certain times I still cry when leaving home.
Proof 1
Last June, my darling sister came back from India, and the whole family planned a weekend trip to Singapore as coincidentally my mother needed to be there for something. I ‘fasted’ from going home for 3 weeks I think, cause I needed to skip a Friday, to reach KL in time to make our drive to Singapore. I had so so much fun… I usually need to make trips home to recharge and not sink into depression here. At the end of the trip, my parents dropped me off at the airport and I flew to penang. So I never stepped foot at home. But being with my family was more than enough to recharge me, fill me with love, and save Penang ppl from the horrible mood swings of sarah-jane…
Proof 2
The earthquakes and their 30 odd aftershocks seem to be a mighty big manifestion, an explosive tip of the iceberg. The environmental changes are way more vast, could be as a result of the earthquake or just something that occurred concurrently… Either way, it’s poured for many days here in Penang. The traffic jams have been massive. The drive back from college that would normally take 2 mins took 20 mins on the past two Fridays I wished I was home.. so as a result, I was unable to make it back, it’s a super long story, I bought the tickets and all, but let’s just say I dowan to think about it now. Saturday morning I awoke no longer deprived of sleep, but still so depressed… my mother called me and asked how I was, I was on the verge of tears, and I did actually cry in frustration when my mom hung up.
Then I went to my car at 12 to head out to get some groceries cause I had finished all my food in the fridge, thinking I was headed home… then my mom called and asked what I’d say if they told me they were on their way to Penang… I doubt there was a single soul happier than me on earth at that moment. I became like a restless hamster, contained in my room, but oh so so excited. I planned our dinner that night, made the necessary bookings and researched hotels.
My parents arrived and whilst daddy took care of my car, mummy and I headed to sunway hotel to check in. it was a great hotel, we had club privileges and the magical journey didn’t end till the next day. We went to church, a nice dinner, and while there was a slight automobile mishap, we retired that night, tired but I was sooooooo elated. The hotel gave me two mattresses for my extra bed. Mummy and daddy had an oversized-as-advertised king size bed. Only the channels on the hotel tv left anything to be desired. The breakfast the next day was set in an exclusive room that triggered memories of irish bed and breakfasts. It was soooo magical.
My darling brother fell sick and I got to talk to him, and mummy had to rush back to another child that needed her! (I think mummy should be a full time mother again.. we need her too much).
They deposited me at my place around lunch time, and whilst I was longing to go with them, tearing a bit too, Dan needing mummy kept me from whining too much..
I then chatted with my darling sister for a few hours…
At the end of the day, my pms disappeared, I was recharged!
Which only serves to emphasise my point that home wasn’t wangsa melawati, it’s where my heart is. And each family member holds a piece… and it’s theirs for keeps…
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| migraines are a real pain...
i was struck down by pain of the most intensce variety.
Site: whole head with the point of greatest intensity in the centre
Radiation: nowhere really
character: throbbing
onset:came on suddenly at around 3 pm
periodicity: it grew in intensity, intermittent intensity, but never fully goes away
duration: it never went away
severity: for me, it rated a 15 on a decadent scale! at one point, i was paralysed with pain, daring not to move, actually being unable to but then i've never experience colic or labour
aggravating:nothing really
relieving factors: i attempted to bust the pain with 2 ibuprofen, one ponstan, one antihistamine (to induce slumber), charcoal pills, traditional chinese medicine, topical minyak angin, mint lavender oil, and a cold eye patch
associated symptoms: nausea, and loss of appetite
it went away at around midnight but the grogginess kicked in and i slept. right up till 11am.
not really sure if it's migraine, i didnt eat anything out of the ordinary... but could be premenstrual dysphoric disorder, and PMS... im wrung so tight it's gonna be impossible for relief to come...
this holiday has been amazing... my mother and grandmother took on a mission at the start of my holidays to fatten me up and while i am feeling a bit bloated and i dont want to be fat again, it'shard not to relish their efforts. so the sacrificial lamb has been fattened, to be offered to PMC and it's "supremely noble" higher power of medicine. hehe but i've eaten all i wanted to eat, and many many times too!
besides that, i've read books to while time away... i forgot just how magical it is. and to do it on a clear conscience, it's difficult to read on school days, i feel guilty for reading something other than my notes, and i dont wanna read my notes, so i watch my series, after all, we dont have videos to watch.. well except the protocol videos... hehe
and shopped!! that's pretty self explanatory...
one thing i have yet to do, is meet up with friends... im sooooo sorry! it's just the timing's not right, and i have to fit into my friends' busy career-driven schedules that don't allow for much free time, and there's always something... last night i felt the worst. im really pitying my friends for having such a friend like me!
current obsession: criminal minds
current novel: jodi picoult's the pact | | |
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 it's been ages since i've updated and actually it isnt because i have nothing to say, or nothing's been happening, it's just i know how boring posts are without photos, so since i havent snapped any photos, or even if i did, it's not with me, i've refrained from blogging. no posts is better than a boring post ya? hehe
but...
today im posting. partly cause i DO have a photo, and also because i realised i do miss ireland. when i came back for good, i told myself i was so happy to have that part of my life over and done with, that i'd treasure the memories but i doubt i'd long for it. that is until my mom started gushing about how she loves dublin though my mummy was there in the heart of winter, when it's the most horrible! for me at least. it hardly snows properly, and by the time it does snow, it's march! and it's so gloomy, the sun doesn't rise till 10 and by 4 it sets! it's gloomy, miserable but i miss it.
and summer just before exams, it's the most horrible time to study. i usually wait till the sun sets, so im not sleepy and i have the silent company of the night... makes me feel more noble! hehe but in ireland it's 10 before the sun sets! by 5.30 the sun is up! so u can imagine just how much studying i do actually get done. but i miss it all the same. the serenity. how everywhere i wanted to go to, was accessible by foot! life was simpler... greener... more beautiful...
but gosh, by no means do i wanna sacrifice my life now for it! hehe im home and while i mostly do housework and feed my brother (my mom works really long hours and there's just too much unnecessary hsework that'd just totally tire my mom more than she needs)... and i read.. hehe it's been years since i've had the chance to sit down with good novels and just read. and read and read... the holiday after i returned from dublin was spent obsessing with figuring out what i'd need in penang. this holiday im free!! oh not to forget, i've been watching Criminal Minds Season 2. im just so in love with Dr Spencer Reid. oh and Agent Aaron Hotchner is mighty cute too, in a brooding kinda way. oh, now i know why i have pimples popping up everywhere! it's the adolescent hormones spiking!
results were out yesterday. no warning, no postponement, just "click here to access your results". hehe no time to panic, no time to pray fervently, to bargain with God. hehe and im really happy with my results. i used to be happy with my results in RCSI but i also thought they just wanted to pass everyone of us, if possible so they wont be stuck with any backlog students, in transition, cause you see, we were kinda stuck in between two systems, the traditional system with accumulative 1st and 2nd professional exams at the end of 1.5 yrs and 3rd year and the new sem-for-sem exam where nothing is expected to be retained longer than that semester.
but in PMC, i dont think they need to pass us. they're not trying to impress anyone with excellent performances, or any board of finance-pool. truly. there's proof to back my conviction, in my mind la! hehe
but bottomline is, im very happy. really... so happy that it's cancelling out my PMS!
so... that's it i guess. hehe
toodles! | | |
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